Oh, dear readers, rest assured, we have yet another gem of a piece of "science" at our disposal. It comes from our favorite lunatic, Roos Vonk, a proud professor of Social Psychology at Radboud University in Nijmegen, who has just published a brand new piece of prose in the Volkskrant. And it's such a classic Vonk story, you won't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently we are all meat-consuming monsters, not because of our biological needs or because a juicy steak is just really really tasty, but because we are all selfish egomaniacs who feel superior to all other creatures on this planet. We don't just eat our dinner, oh no, we celebrate a triumph of superiority every time we turn on the barbecue. Thank you, Rose, for this wonderful insight into the human soul!
But wait, there's more! Spark contends, according to her own "thorough" research, that meat consumption is related to a need for superiority and dominance. If you eat a steak, it is not because you are a fan of its taste or texture, but because you have a compelling need to dominate. Are you eating chicken? Well, then you're clearly looking for control. And let's not even get started on what eating a hamburger says about you!
The most comical thing about this, of course, is that Vonk claims that eating meat makes us feel immortal, as if we grant ourselves some kind of divinity every time we take a bite of a meat skewer. Leave it to a professor of Social Psychology to find such profound meanings in our daily meals.
So, there you have it, dear carnivores. Don't be fooled any longer. You don't eat meat because you like it, or because it's packed with essential nutrients. No, you eat meat because you have a big ego, because you want to dominate and because you secretly think you are immortal.
And of course, we don't forget the key question: what do ego-free, humble, dying vegetarians eat? Well, apparently only plants, which no doubt utter an indelible scream when ripped from the ground, but hey, that's just a detail, right?
Let's be real for once. The real truth is that death is simply a part of life. And meat eaters, with their steaks and bacon, are probably much more aware of that than those who try to dodge the idea of death by hugging a cucumber. Not that there's anything wrong with cucumbers or the idea of being vegetarian or vegan, but let's not pretend that not eating meat somehow elevates us to a higher level of morality, consciousness or even mortality.
Meanwhile, while Roos Vonk tells us that eating meat equals an ego trip, we conveniently forget that humanity has been eating meat for thousands of years. Our ancestors were hunter-gatherers, with hunting being an essential part of their survival. Have we suddenly forgotten that the meat on our plates is not only a source of nutrients, but also a part of our evolutionary history?
And instead of chiding meat eaters for the perceived ego they display when eating a piece of meat, perhaps our energy would be better spent addressing real problems, such as environmental pollution and animal cruelty in the meat industry. But no, that would require too much common sense, and there is apparently no place for such a thing in the world of Spark.
Finally, let us not forget that it is also a form of ego to believe that your way of life, your diet, your philosophy is superior to that of others. Mrs. Spark may need to look in the mirror if she is looking for an abundance of ego.
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This leaves us with little more than a chuckle at these statements. Dear people, continue eating your steaks, your veggie burgers, or your tofu. Do what feels good, but please let's not blame the burgers for our psychological imperfections. After all, ego is human, but so is the ability to laugh at life's absurdities. And let's face it, these statements from Vonk are a nice addition to that list.